I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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