Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I deserve this hangover.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
