Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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