i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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