So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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