Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
