If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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