dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
