Are we in a gay sports bar?
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
