I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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