tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
