So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
