Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
