yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
