Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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