I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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