Don't you send me to vm
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
