Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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