I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
