It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
