the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Randomize
