There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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