Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Randomize
