in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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