I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
