I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
