Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
