My brain says no but my pants say off.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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