I need help removing her.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
