Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize