he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
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