i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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