this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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