i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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