Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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