So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
