I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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