Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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