imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
