umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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