you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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