I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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