I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
