I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Randomize
