This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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