..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
