I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Terrible idea I love it
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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