He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
