Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
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