Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
