HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
