youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I supernannyed him into submission
Randomize