If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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