Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
