I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
