I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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