Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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