Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize