I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
This toilet bowl is my home.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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