Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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